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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28914735">Here with Yue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/unacaritafeliz'>unacaritafeliz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Post-Canon, Yue is still dead im sorry, no beta we die like yue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:16:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28914735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/unacaritafeliz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Suki sighs, quiet enough Sokka won’t hear it, and slips off her shoes and her outer robe, hanging them up carefully in the entryway. She’d never be mad at Sokka for spending the anniversary of the siege of the North in bed, but she was hoping he might be faring a little better than he is. Last year he’d at least made it out onto the balcony to wallow in the fresh air, but progress isn’t linear. They all know that better than anyone.</p><p>[[The anniversary of the Siege of the North never gets easier to deal with, but Sokka, Suki and Zuko get through it together]].</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Yue/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Here with Yue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Suki gets back to their shared bedroom after her shift, she finds Sokka still in bed, tucked tightly under the covers. It’s almost the same position she left him in this morning, nearly eight hours ago, except for the fact that he’s actually awake now, and Suki can see his eyelashes flutter when he blinks.</p><p>She sighs, quiet enough he won’t hear it, and slips off her shoes and her outer robe, hanging them up carefully in the entryway. She’d never be mad at Sokka for spending the anniversary of the siege of the North in bed, but she was hoping he might be faring a little better than he is. Last year he’d at least made it out onto the balcony to wallow in the fresh air, but progress isn’t linear. They all know that better than anyone.</p><p>Suki quietly walks up to the bed, taking note of the barely touched lunch tray on the bedside table, and waits until Sokka’s eyes focus on her before she speaks.</p><p>“Hi, my love,” she says.</p><p>“Hey, Suki,” Sokka replies. His voice is rough from disuse, and the smile he offers her doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Missed you.”</p><p>Suki leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. “I missed you too,” she says. “Do you want to go outside?”</p><p>Sokka closes his eyes. “It’s still too early,” he mutters.</p><p>Suki runs her fingers over his forehead, gently, brushing his hair back from his face. “Why don’t you go have a shower?” she suggests. “And then we can go down to the garden and wait for her.”</p><p>"Okay,” Sokka mumbles. “In a bit.”</p><p>Suki walks away, moving into their walk-in closet to take off the rest of her armoured uniform and headgear, stripping until she's down to her underclothes. It takes her a little while, and by the time she emerges from the walk-in, outfits for them both in hand, the bed is empty and the bathroom door is closed. She can hear the sound of water running from behind it.</p><p>She sets the clothes on the bed and moves around to collect what they'll need for the night. Zuko will bring them dinner when he comes to join them, so they just need pillows, blankets, water bottles, and something to keep them occupied while they wait for the sunset. She packs the book she’s reading and a few things for Sokka - the new trade deal scroll he's been putting off reading, Zuko's battered copy of Love Amongst the Dragons, and a book of Southern Water Tribe poetry. Chances are he won’t look at any of them, but it’s better to be prepared.</p><p>Sokka emerges from the bathroom, hair dripping but looking a little more alive. Suki presses his bundle of clothes into his hands and reaches up on her toes to kiss his cheek.</p><p>"I'm just going to shower," she tells him. "I won't be long."</p><p>She quickly takes her makeup off and jumps into the quickest shower of her life. Sokka's sitting on the bed when she gets out, absentmindedly towel drying his hair and gazing out the window.</p><p>“How was the ceremony this morning?” Sokka asks, as Suki pulls her robes over her head.</p><p>The Fire Nation holds the biggest Siege anniversary ceremony outside of the Northern Water Tribe. It’s a way for them to remember the hurt they caused in the world, to pay their respects to the moon spirit, and to honour Yue for the sacrifice she made for the world. Sokka’s only ever attended one event, the first one after the war, before either he or Suki even lived in the Fire Nation. He struggled through the ceremony, left before the lunch, and never went back for another.</p><p>“It was really nice,” Suki says. “Zuko gave a really nice speech, and Ambassador Soanak told us some stories about Yue.”</p><p>“Sounds like I should’ve been there,” says Sokka, sadly.</p><p>Suki moves over to wrap her arms around his shoulders, and he leans his head forward into her chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. She knows he feels like he’s betraying Yue by not going, but no one expects him there anyway. He doesn’t have to perform his grief for people to know that he’s still hurting from the death of his friend, and almost girlfriend. She’s sure Yue doesn’t mind either, but she can’t say that. She never met Yue, she’ll never understand her well enough to speak for her.</p><p>“I’m sure Ambassador Soanak would be more than happy to tell you about it another time,” she tells Sokka, pressing a kiss into his hairline. “You know how much he likes to talk.”</p><p>Sokka laughs. It’s soft and hesitant and a little forced, much different than his usual loud, booming laugh that makes her weak at the knees, but it’s perfect for today. It’s enough to set Suki’s heart at ease.</p><p>Sokka sighs. “You’re right,” he says. He looks up at her, his arms still around her waist. “Are you sure you want to come out with me tonight? I won’t be offended if you and Zuko stay up here this year.”</p><p>Suki smiles, and boops him on the nose with a single finger. “Nowhere else I’d rather be,” she tells him.</p><p>She detaches from him to pick up the bag she packed before, tucking the blankets and pillows under the same arm so she has a hand free to hold Sokka’s as they make their way down to the turtleduck pond. Technically, only the Royal family is allowed into the palace garden, but Suki and Sokka have been using it since they moved to the Fire Nation, before they even started dating Zuko. The path from their room there is familiar, and they don’t meet anyone along the way, and soon enough Sokka is the one holding their stuff, while Suki spreads their picnic blanket on the ground, underneath a large tree.</p><p>They flop onto the blanket, Suki leaning back against the tree, and Sokka sprawled out on his back, staring up at the canopy above. They'll move into the open once it gets darker, but there's no point burning in the Fire Nation sun while they wait for the moon to rise.</p><p>And besides, this is the best spot in the garden to watch the turtleducks. A few of the older ones come around to inspect them, sniffling around their hands and accepting head pats, but they quickly return back to the water when they realise Sokka and Suki have no food with them. Suki smiles at them, hoping that Zuko remembers to bring some bread or cabbage for them later.</p><p>Sokka still hasn’t spoken, so Suki pulls her book from the bag and pushes it towards Sokka. She knows how important it is to give Sokka time alone with his thoughts, and trusts him to talk when he’s ready. He always does talk eventually, unlike Zuko who she literally has to pry information from.</p><p>“I brought some things for you to read,” she says, quietly. “If you want to, of course.”</p><p>“Okay,” Sokka says, without making any effort to move.</p><p>Suki opens her books and starts reading, diving right back into the stupidly manufactured drama of the main character. It’s honestly kind of a ridiculous book, but Zuko loves it and wanted to share it with them, and Suki would put up with a lot worse to make Zuko happy. Besides, it’s pretty entertaining. She doesn’t hate it.</p><p>After a few pages, Sokka shifts to look through the bag, and Suki watches him rifle through the books and scrolls out of the corner of her eye. He finally pulls out the poetry book and opens it, settling with his head resting on Suki’s thigh. She shifts her book to make more room for him, and drops a hand down to play with his still-loose hair. Sokka makes a content sort of sound, and Suki smiles.</p><p>They stay like that for about an hour - Sokka alternating between reading and watching the sky, and Suki alternating between reading and watching Sokka, both of them staying silent. The sun is just beginning to set when Suki spots Zuko walking across the garden towards them, long hair falling around his shoulders and a picnic basket held in his hand. He stops at the end of the picnic blanket and hovers awkwardly, holding the picnic basket up a little higher.</p><p>“Uh, hey,” he says. “I brought food?”</p><p>He’d told her once, many years ago when they’d found themselves without Sokka the day after the anniversary, that he feels personally guilty about Yue’s death. He’d squeezed her hand and cried as he explained that Yue would probably still be alive if he hadn’t tried to kidnap Aang from the spirit oasis that night. Suki hadn’t even been able to argue with that because, well, from what she’s heard it might have been true.</p><p>She did, however, tell him in no uncertain terms that Yue’s death wasn’t his fault, and that no one would ever believe he would have purposefully harmed her or the moon spirit. Even at his worst, Zuko had never been a killer. He’d never wanted to harm anyone, he’d just wanted to go home.</p><p>Zuko has plenty of his own shit to atone for without needing to atone for the shit of the rest of his nation. Try as they might though, Suki and Sokka still haven’t convinced him of that fact.</p><p>“Thanks, Zuko,” Suki says.</p><p>She pats the ground next to her. Zuko flops down, relieved, and opens the basket. It’s traditional picnic fare in a mix of national styles, hot from the kitchen and including all of Sokka’s favourites - komodo-chicken skewers, elephant koi bao, and arctic hen sandwiches, with fruit and mochi for dessert, and enough jasmine tea to last the night packed in thermos to stay warm.</p><p>They eat in relative silence, watching as the sky changes colour, ocassionally throwing pieces of bread or dough to the turtleducks. Sokka eats far more slowly than usual, but Suki’s glad to see that he still eats a fair amount of the food. She hates it when her boys skip meals.</p><p>The sun has almost fully set by the time they finish eating. They can’t see Yue just yet, but it’s coincidentally a full moon tonight, so Suki knows she’ll be appearing above the treeline soon enough. From one glance at Sokka, she knows he’s expecting her soon too.</p><p>“Hey,” he says, quietly. “Do you guys mind if I wait for her alone?”</p><p>Suki offers him a sad smile and reaches out to squeeze his hand. “Of course not, my love,” she says. “Take a lantern with you though, so you can find your way back.”</p><p>Zuko lights one using spark rocks, since he doesn’t firebend on the anniversary of the Siege of the North, the Air Nomad genocide, the anniversary of Sokka’s mum’s death or the day he burned down Kyoshi Island. He passes it to Sokka, and Sokka sets off towards the trees, taking a small pack of mochi and a thermos of tea with him. It’s only after he’s disappeared from view that Suki nudges Zuko gently with her shoulder.</p><p>“Let’s move before he gets back,” she says.</p><p>They drag the blanket and all their things into the middle of the grass, and flop onto it, lying side to side on their backs, staring at the sky. They can finally see Yue peeking through the branches of the trees, and Suki takes Zuko’s hand in hers, squeezing it softly.</p><p>“Are you okay, Zuko?” she asks.</p><p>Zuko huffs. “Ask me tomorrow,” he says. “Today’s not about me.”</p><p>Suki takes one more look at Yue before turning her head so she can see her boyfriend. Zuko’s lovely face is made even lovelier in the moonlight and Suki spares a thought to how beautiful Yue must have been, to be able to make people shine so much brighter with her light.</p><p>“Sokka’s not here right now,” she tells him. “So this, right now, is about you.”</p><p>Zuko looks up into her eyes, searching them for something. Eventually he sighs. “I’m okay,” he says. “Same as always. You know how I feel about it.”</p><p>Suki squeezes his hand, and turns to face him properly. “Just because I know how you feel doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it,” she says.</p><p>“I know,” he says. He turns to look back up at the sky. “I just… I wish I could do something more than just sit here and feel guilty, you know?”</p><p>“You are doing something, Zu,” she says. “You’re making sure Yue’s memory is honoured, you’re facilitating peace, and you’re being here for Sokka when he needs you.”</p><p>“It’s not enough,” Zuko says, pressing the heel of his free hand into his good eye, clearly trying to wipe away tears he won’t admit to shedding.</p><p>“Yes it is,” Suki insists.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t look convinced, so she leans over to press a kiss to his lips. Nothing dramatic or intense, just a short, chaste press of their lips together. Just enough for him to know that he’s good, and loved, and cared for. Just enough to remind him that his past, and the past of the Fire Nation, doesn’t define him.</p><p>“I love you,” she says.</p><p>That makes him smile, just a little. “I love you too,” he says.</p><p>She rolls onto her back, pulling their still-joined hands so they rest on her stomach. Zuko moves closer too, resting his head on her shoulder. They both look up at Yue together.</p><p>“Are you okay, Suki?” he asks, quietly.</p><p>She squeezes his hand. "Yeah, Zu," she says. "I'm okay."</p><p>She appreciates him asking. It's not easy mourning someone never met but still somehow knows, mourning a girl who was good and brave and far too young to make the sacrifice she did. It's hard too, watching the two men she loves the most become consumed by grief and guilt and not being able to do anything to help them deal with it.</p><p>But she's still okay.</p><p>She and Zuko stay like that, quietly watching Yue climb higher into the sky, until Sokka returns and forces himself between them. Suki shuffles over to make room for him, watching as Zuko curls into their boyfriend, pressing his face into Sokka's neck and reaching over his body to link his hand back with Suki's. She lets herself smile as she settles back down next to them.</p><p>None of them expect Sokka to comfort Zuko about Yue's death. Zuko still hasn't even told Sokka that he needs comforting about it at all. But Suki's glad to know that Zuko can find comfort in the fact that Sokka is still with him, still wants to curl up on a picnic blanket next to him, even on nights like this.</p><p>And she’s even more glad that Sokka’s letting himself take comfort from them tonight. Suki still remembers the fifteen year old Sokka she first met, who thought it was his responsibility to look out for everyone, and never let anyone look out for him. He’s come so far. They’ve all come so far. Well, all of them except…</p><p>“She was so young,” Sokka says. Suki turns so she can face him properly. “I know I say that every year, but it feels like she just keeps getting younger.”</p><p>Suki hums softly as she brushes his fringe out of his face with her free hand. There’s not much she can say, no real way she can comfort him about the fact that they get to grow up when Yue doesn’t.</p><p>“She was so young, and she was so good,” Sokka continues, sniffling. “She.. she didn’t deserve to die.”</p><p>Zuko makes an aborted choking sound, and presses himself even closer to Sokka. “She didn’t,” he says, and Suki squeezes his fingers tightly, presses closer into Sokka, tries so hard to support her boys through something she knows she'll never be able to support them through.</p><p>“She would have grown up to be such a wonderful person,” Sokka says, as tears finally drip down his cheeks. “It’s not fair that she’s not here.”</p><p>“It’s not,” she says. There’s not much else she can say, so she presses a kiss to Sokka’s salty cheek and pulls Zuko’s hand up to her mouth to kiss that too before she lays back down. She cuddles as close as she can to Sokka’s body, keeps her grip on Zuko’s hand strong. The boys will feel better in the morning, this is the most she can do for them tonight.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t say anything else, so Suki twists her head to see Yue again. The angle is awkward, but she really wants to see Yue one last time before she falls asleep. Yue is bright and full and beautiful in the sky and Suki can’t help but what it would be like if Yue was still on earth, rather in the sky. Would Yue be here with them in the Fire Nation, sprawled out on the grass after a picnic, laughing at something Sokka said, nothing sad to pull them down? Would she be a permanent fourth to their trio, the piece of them that’s always felt like it was missing and could never be found?</p><p>Suki sighs, softly. There’s no point thinking about what the world would be like if Yue was alive, the same way there's no point in wondering what the world would be like if Suki's parents, or Sokka's mother, or the Air Nomads were still alive. They're not, and that's just part of the world they have to live in. The war took so much away from them, and they’ll be dealing with it for the rest of their lives.</p><p>She sits up to grab a blanket, draping it nearly over the three of them. It’s not that cold yet, but she and Zuko will probably both be fast asleep when it does get cold enough to need a blanket, and Sokka will probably be too caught up in thought to even think to spread one over them. Suki wouldn’t blame him.</p><p>“Thank you for staying out with me tonight,” Sokka says, quietly, as she settles back beside him, his arm coming up to wrap around her. “I love you all so much.”</p><p>Suki and Zuko mumbles their replies. And it might just be because she’s tired, but Suki thinks she sees Yue’s light twinkle in reply too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>halfway through writing this i realised i’d never seen a moonrise and had to do some frantic googling to work out how the moon works? Anyway I read <a href="https://theconversation.com/curious-kids-why-can-i-sometimes-see-the-moon-in-the-daytime-83969">this answer to a child</a> and thought it was cool.</p><p>Anyway I don't know what the point of this was. I just wanted to write it so I did. I hope you maybe enjoyed it???</p></blockquote></div></div>
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